How your child behaves outside your home and how much confidence he has depends on his parents or other primary caretakers. If you want your children to grow up with sufficient self-esteem to help him get through obstacles in life, you ought to know what you should do—and shouldn’t be doing—to or around them.
Below are 3 ways you might be destroying your child’s your self-esteem. If you ended up doing any of them a couple of times, don’t worry—we’ll list down ways that you can undo any damage and help avoid making them in the future.
1. Saying “it’s easy”
What it does: When your child is faced with a difficult task, it’s normal and pretty common for parents—or any adult—to say “it’s easy,” thinking it will encourage the child. The truth is, it’s the exact opposite. Telling a child—or anyone—that something is “easy” to you when it’s clearly giving them a hard time makes them feel incapable and sometimes dumb. As a result, it makes them feel discouraged and lowers their self-esteem.
What you can do: If you ended up saying this to your child one or more times, there’s still chance to save his self-esteem. Whenever he deals with something difficult (at least for him), acknowledge that it is difficult but assure them that they can overcome it. And when they do, don’t forget to applaud their efforts and success. Make them realize that they did something hard—this will increase their self-worth and helps them stay encouraged to solve any problems at hand in the future.
2. Doing too much for them
What it does: You may want to keep catering to your kids’ needs and offering them anything they want in order to show your love for them. But the thing is, you shoudn’t—at least not all the time. Your kids might get used to having everything spoonfed that they’ll stop making an effort and it keeps them from learning skills and lessons that could’ve been very useful later in life. Worse, it send the hidden message that they are not capable.
What you can do: Instead of doing everything for them, break things up into small tasks that they handle. And when they’re able to complete them on their own, their self-esteem will improve as they feel satisfied and more capable.
3. Freaking out when they make mistakes
What it does: Just as you wouldn’t wish anyone would react too negatively whenever you make a mistake, children definitely wouldn’t want to be put down that way. They sure are more sensitive so whenever you make a mistake a big deal or keep them from making them, they’ll feel incapable and unsure how to proceed.
What you can do: Understand and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and your children deserve more free passes for making lots of them. Besides, even little kids are able to learn from certain mistakes, so simply assure yourself that mistakes open doors to healthy growth in children. Let your children rise to the occasion, admit they’re wrong and fix the problem, in order to feel better about themselves later on.
Article compliments of Best Moms TV