Ok so here’s a question. Does your husband/partner/baby daddy take his role as father seriously? I mean, does he do his job and share the responsibility as the co parent of your child/children?
The reason I ask is because as of late I have seen way too many moms complain that their husbands are just not as involved as they should be. I’m seeing it all around me, dads just not pulling their weight and leaving moms to bear the brunt of it all.
Let me add a very big disclaimer here and say that this is not a post aiming to bash the great dads among us or take away from the dads who do in fact rock up at the party, every single day. The dads who are very often the unsung heroes and who should be appreciated whole-heartedly for the love and sacrifice they show their families.
I for one am grateful to have a husband who goes beyond his call of duty in every way possible. (I say ‘call of duty’ because raising two little boys of 2 and 4 is proving to be much like running an army). His main aim in life is really to make sure the kids and I are happy and while I feel so incredibly blessed, my heart is often weighed down by the stories I hear. Ones where moms are forced to carry the entire load on their shoulders, with very little consideration and zero child support.
It’s hard for me to pretend that it doesn’t bother me and that I don’t feel the urge to come over and kick them in the balls (the very things that created the little people they don’t seem to be doing a great job of caring for) or at the very least tell them to shape up and grow a pair. I mean cummon????
It seems some dads need to be reminded of a few things. It would appear they have suffered from some kind of dementia or had their brains taken over by aliens. Too many beers and time in front of the Xbox may be to blame for their complete loss of memory. Whatever it is I serve to remind them of a few very simple little facts of life. Feel free to forward this to the appropriate person and you can all thank me later.
- It takes two to tango. For the sake of this article and considering we may be dealing with some “simple” folk ill interpret this: You had sexual intercourse and impregnated a women. I promise you, it would have been impossible to fall pregnant without you.
- The child your brave, courageous and sacrificial partner gave birth to is your flesh and blood. How can you so easily fall into the habit of neglecting this most precious gift you have been given?
- Your wife/partner is just as tired, frustrated and burnt out as you. It constantly surprises me that some of you dads think you can just come home and hit the couch every night without helping out a bit. Especially when you come home and have the cheek to complain about the mess. Gosh what do you think we do day? Some of us work two jobs! One, where we actually get paid and one where we don’t. (Unless smiles and slopping smooches count?)
- When you look after your own children, don’t you ever dare refer to it as babysitting? Babysitters are girls who you hire for help in the event you ever actually got off your lazy arse and asked your wife out on a date. You know, to thank her for everything she is doing for you and the family?
- When you have committed to look after the kids for the afternoon, don’t be an asshole and palm them off to your mom. Don’t be that guy. Better yet, be a dad! (You may be surprised to find it’s pretty damn awesome!}
- Your responsibility is always to your family first. No matter where you have been invited with the guys for the weekend, if your family needs you, be there for them. I’m sure your wife would equally enjoy sipping on some cold ones on the dam, but she wont be able to because she is stuck at home for the third weekend in a row with all three kids and no support.
- If you and you partner are no longer a couple, this does not mean you are entitled to neglect your responsibilities and not contribute to the well-being of your children. How on earth does it fall on the mother to pay all the bills? More importantly how do you sleep at night knowing your children are going without because you can’t keep a job or because you spend all your money on beer? I realize this may be harsh because maybe you are an addict, maybe you haven’t had a good example of a father, maybe life has been unfair. But I urge you Dad to break the cycle, to be the dad your children deserve.
- Just because you can’t commit to the mother of your children or you both chose to walk away and call it a day, does not excuse you from the responsibility of committing to your children. Even if your ex is impossible to deal with at times, put your issues aside, grow up and be a good example. Do the right thing and pay child support so your children can have things like an education, food and clothing.
I really want to see dads fulfilling their roles and stepping up to the plate. If cycles of abuse and neglect need to be broken, the time is now! Our children deserve so much more than mediocre. They deserve the world. How bout we start by showing them what love and sacrifice look like and by supporting moms in the crucial years of raising great kids?