We are mothers

Welcome back to Be You with Jonelle. Through giving birth, facing death, being hospitalised over and over, and losing people I love; it never ceases to amaze me how, even though we are mothers, we constantly question every thought, decision and action we take.

As mothers, we doubt ourselves more often than we should. We question all our choices, our decisions, our actions. While pregnant, we worry about the things we eat. We worry that our behaviour will cause harm in some way. We stress and we fret and we panic. We think and rethink our choice of childbirth over and over. We panic that the baby will have something wrong. We go into labour and we suffer through the most excruciating pain imaginable, but we know it’s worth it, for soon enough we will be holding our baby – we are mothers.

The worry doesn’t stop there. We stress about breastfeeding or formula feeding. We hear things like breast is best, so we feel like failures when we are unable to breastfeed. We sacrifice our sleep to feed our children through the night. We live like zombies for months, if not years. We are mothers.

Our children grow older, perfectly formed. Perfectly loved. Still we wonder if we’re doing enough. Exhausted from working a full day and coming home to work a full night still. We are mothers. We do what we have to do because we know what’s best. And yet we still question ourselves.

Am I doing it the right way? Am I raising my child well? Am I doing the things I should be doing? Is she a better mother than me? Have I failed?

We leap to that place where we know we have failed. Everyone else thinks we are doing a perfect job. Our children are healthy and fed, and happy. Still we question ourselves and our abilities. We doubt ourselves and struggle to accept that we are not just women, we are mothers. We are powerful and wonderful.

We may not all raise our children the same way, we may not all feed them the same way and we may not teach our children to believe the same things but we are mothers. We make sacrifices and we do our best to raise our children in the best possible way we are capable. No, we may not all have a lot of money or be able to give our children as many material objects as others, but we love. We love with our whole hearts. We worry and we stress and we want the world for our children.

We may raise them differently but we love them in the same way. We are perfectly imperfect and we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We are mothers. Our children grow up knowing only one way. Your way. So cut yourself some slack and be a mother your way. Unapologetically.

We are mothers

*You can learn more about Jonelle here.

Jonelle du Pont

Jonelle du Pont

Jonelle is a first time mom in Cape Town. Her main focus outside of her family is inspiring, motivating and empowering women through her blogs Tyranny of Pink and Jonelle du Pont. Jonelle has had an incredibly challenging journey through life, including facing and beating death just after welcoming her new baby into this world; and yet finds the positive and shares the learnings through it all. She is also the author of our column "Be You with Jonelle".

  1. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. We just really need to start cutting ourselves some slack!
    All we can be, is the best version of ourselves!

  2. Lovely post. Well said. We are mothers. Just doing the best we can in the only way we know how – our way.

  3. Thank you so much for this post.
    “We are perfectly imperfect…” this is so well-written and true. Why do we keep on questioning ourselves on everything? I enjoyed this post a lot.

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