So the first ‘heir’ to your family has arrived and the fanfare has begun, they are your pride and joy!
Nothing but the best is good enough for them and you rally around juggling finances to ensure that they have the best pram, the best car seat and a nursery that imitates a little piece of heaven. Once all the ‘material’ things are sorted, you as new parents together with the new grandparents, lavish your new born with constant love and attention. Their every movement is captured on video and their daily life is documented.
But there is no reason to pity your second child even though they will have everything second hand, probably less photos and shared attention, he or she will have other benefits.
- Your experience counts for much. Remembering those paranoid nights when you tried to do everything by the book but your baby was doing something completely different and you were sure the bottom of your world was falling out. You cried, they cried! Now you’re an experienced and relaxed mom with baby number 2 helping them to be more relaxed and laid back. You have learnt to cope with limited sleep on a regular basis. There are times when you even think ‘this is so easy…done that, been there’!
- Your partner is experienced. Instead of looking on like he did first time around, he is now more confident to assist and you can switch roles and act out the parental duties with greater efficiency.
- Small lessons learnt. So the first one slept in a special crib made by Dad and a hard and fast rule was set that they would not be in your bed. But next time around you realise that your bed is just so much easier so why stick to these crazy rules when they just make life more complicated.
- Healthy eating. You now realise that not every food label needs to be scrutinized and that their resistances levels can cope. Gone are the specially prepared homemade foods in the hi-tech baby food processor. The convenience foods available make you a more flexible and relaxed Mom being able to enjoy your second born so much more.
- Support system. Not only have you developed a great support system with friends and family, but your confidence second time around has made you an expert at multi-tasking. You now understand that someone else can care for your first born while you enjoy baby number two.
A second kid doubles your workload reducing the time for perfection and capturing every moment but experience is the name of the game. So relax, enjoy and toss aside those feelings of guilt!